WWKAE

I hate new years resolutions. I guess that I perceive them to be a stressful opportunity for failure if I dont meet my standards. And then I end up trying to convince myself that its ok I didnt meet them. And yes, we see a pattern folks, another ridiculous reason for tossing and turning in bed. Instead I like to pick themes after I see how the year kicks off. Not only do themes allow me to keep it under wraps but I dont have to be as specific - most likely so I cant be called out when in violation.

Like, last year, my theme was “be nice to people.” Uh, yeah. Not sure if it worked but I really did try! Now its time for a new theme [insert drum roll here] “decrease life stress.” Because sometimes I seriously need to chill the eff out. And because I am now a student/ mom/ wife/ employee, I foresee a need to be preventive. Since I was raised with a strong appreciation of German efficiency, I have made a list of some ways to effectively make my theme a reality:

1- See my friends more and get out of my house after 8pm more often. Sad but true: I really dont know the San Francisco nightlife.  After having lived here for 6 years, that is just embarrassing and ridiculous even if I am a mom. Also, this could mean more brunches and lunches and just regular ole’ girls and a bottle of wine time.

2- Spend quality time with my husband without the kids around. I have heard that its good relationships to spend time alone and to do things together that are fun. I think I’ll try it more than 3 times a year and see if what they say is right.

3- Ask for help and take people up on their offers while still good. Especially since there is no family nearby, ask before losing my mind and breaking down while washing dishes or taking it out on Mr H.

4-Take care of myself and actually do it instead of pining and whining. Get a massage if my back hurts. Keep going to dance classes at least once a week (ideally twice). Allow myself time to study and not try to do something else at the same time.

I guess this is a proclamation that I am now trying to work on this. Yikes. Fingers crossed that it works, but it all sounds pretty great to me.

In college I had an amazing professor that not only changed how I looked at the world and history, but also fostered more self worth than a lot of my family members had up to that point. He studied at the Sorbonne in France, spoke 5 languages so fluently he could teach social theory in any of them, and he was quirky and has an accent that none of us had ever encountered before.

In his Caribbean Cultural Anthropology class, he pointed out that Haiti has always struggled; as the first black run independent country in the world it has always been kept down by external superpowers. I still cannot wrap my brain  or heart around the poverty and struggle the children of Haiti faced before the earthquake.

I am so grateful for what and who I have in my life. I cannot begin to fathom living, or even dying, amidst a tragedy of such magnitude.  And all the children. Those little tiny bodies… The images crush me and bring me to tears.

I have decided to make a donation, to at least feel like I have tried to do something. Even though I am trying to scale back, I think that I make some sort of contribution now and maybe another one next month. If you want to, even $25 could make such a difference. Here are two organizations you can donate to that are already doing important life saving work in Haiti, but I’m sure a google search will yield even more. Just make sure its a legit organziation and a secure site.

Doctors Without Borders

The American Red Cross

Or even just text to make a small donation, look here at what a difference it made in a short period of time!

Partners in Health has been doing amazing public health work in Haiti for decades now. Another inspiration behind my drive to do the public health work. This is one organization that I also think will actually utliize the money donated directly for Haitian relief efforts.

But any way you cut it, help is help. Whatever you can do, even if its just prayers, props to you for doing it.

I am pretty stoked that right now I am sitting here, enjoying the SF Ballet Nutcracker on PBS and I only have a couple things left on my xmas list. I work the next couple days while Mr H is off with the ninos but I feel pretty confident we’ll pull it all together, the Christmas Day Italian feast included. The downside is that I think that in getting all my shopping done early, I blew my holiday spirit wad. Now its time to get it back, so I thought that I would vicariously shop through others to reinvigorate my reason for the season.

For those of you who are still shopping, here are some gift suggestions that you can pick up at the LOCAL bookstore in these last few days. Gotta love the one stop shop and really, who doesnt love a new book? So here you go, what would I buy for Christmas:

The Quilts of Gees Bend for your mother in law or aunt that loves to quilt and appreciates African American cultural art history.

The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down for your college friends who were also majors in Anthropology or that hopeful assistant who you started mentoring in the ways of culturally sensitive patient care.

The Sartorialist book that you would have gotten for your younger sister but she already got it so you can get it for your fashionista boss instead

Freakonomics for any dude that loves watches public television exposes on politics, economic theory and/or weed.

Anything by David Sedaris, for anyone who has a good sense of humor my two faves include: When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Naked, and Me Talk Pretty One Day

Lastly, for the kids in your life:
Any Captain Underpants book (or Capitan Calzoncillos en espanol) for any 1st-4th grade boy

Click Clack Moo is so great for kids 1-4 yrs

And what is Christmas without the Grinch or the Polar Express?

So there you go, I feel the holiday spirit kicking in again. There is just something about the anticipation of getting someone a gift that I love. Picking it out, wrapping it up, and then the look on their face when they open it. No wonder I’m a sucker for this time of year.

Yesterday I wrote this: I hate bad days. I hate stress. I hate feeling sad. I hate having a temper. I hate that I am actually a horrible communicator and stuff things inside myself and dont say anything until I am overcome and overwhelmed. I hate that right now I am not able to enjoy one of my most favorite times of year. Most of all, I have having to act like everything is ok and suck it up and move on. I am really no good at moving on or letting go.

That was pretty much what I was saying to myself all day long at work. You might be able to suss out how awesome my day was going. I was actually about to post it and then I got a call from Mr H that him and LJ were in a car accident. Immediately everything that I had hated wasnt an issue anymore. All that I wanted was for them to be safe and healthy. And they were because luckily our volvo is a beast and Mr H is a good driver (and for the record it wasnt his fault). At that moment though, everything I was wallowing in was gone because it slapped me out of my stupor and back into real life.

It was a reminder that things can always be harder, even if they are hard. And that I need to make life worth living and not get sucked up in the daily/ monthly/ seasonal stress. I need to put caring for myself and my family first.  I need to keep going to dance class even if I am tired, I need to take time for myself so I can give time to my family and friends, I need to give my husband love and not take him for granted, and I need to be there for my boys. I have to be there for them. Its such a wierd thing to realize that your purpose in life goes beyond yourself.

So this morning was just so much better. Not just because the sun was shining and the kids got up easily. Not just because LJ’s school holiday performance is today and I cant wait for his solo.  And not just because tomorrow is Friday and the weekend is full of people to see and parties. It was better because I was so thankful to wake up healthy with my healthy family, even if they are still coughing non-stop.Tis the season peeps, tis the season.

I just have to say, I love my sisters so much. My older sister is the ultimate caregiver and is so wonderful to everyone in our family, she is such a positive and supportive force in my life. My younger sister has nothing but love and good intentions, she makes me laugh harder than anyone on the planet, and adores my boys as much as we do. I feel so lucky to have such a strong bond, I really dont know how I would get through this world without them. Sometimes no one understands me but them, or at least they humor me more than others.

The only problem is that we live so far away…but the not-so-little one (she is so much taller than me) is coming for Christmas and I cant wait to see her! LJ cant either, so he has combined the advent calendar countdown with an Aunty countdown. Does it get any cuter than that? Well, maybe when Sister and I sing the song from White Christmas, and you know that’s how we roll. Every year. Sometimes others humor us as an audience, not that it matters. Sisters sometimes just need each other to get through it, whatever the “it” is, because ultimately, THAT is how we roll. No wonder I love my sisters.

The in-laws are coming this weekend for a pre-Christmas Christmas. They are going on safari in Tanzania (I KNOW, who are these people and why do they always get to go to such cool places?) just after Christmas so they are coming here to celebrate early.

I actually love my in-laws so I am excited for the visit. Even though the house is in various stages of coughing, hacking, and sneezing (SHOCKER) we are trying to get ready for their arrival. I still need to wrap their presents and put out clean linens for them and probably clean the bathroom again because I live with 3 boys and it gets gross at lightening speed.
The best part of the weekend is that they will get to be part of some holiday traditions that we usually just send them pictures of. The German Elf is coming! We are getting our Christmas tree! And my other favorite tradition: crab season is here! Nothing like dipping your entire meal in butter to kick off the season of overeating and gluttony. Or maybe we will get some delicious garlic noodle crab? Oh the anticipation. Oh the butter.

[ Realizing all this just made the last couple hours of my work day seem a lot less horrible. And so did watching this video because it really took me back. I used to adore Simon LeBon. And doesnt Sting look SO annoyed? I guess I might too, those lyrics are kinda lame and Bono is a mic hog. Or maybe his mullet just took up lots of space.]

PS Saw New Moon last weekend and it was so fun. We got reserved seats in advance so we didnt have to wait in any lines. I literally laughed out loud in numerous scenes (therefore almost choking on my hot dog) but had to stop because of the sinking feeling that I was crushing some pre-teens heart who had been waiting years to see it.

All 5 of us girls had a blast going en masse to see the teen movie of the season. And I say girls because yes, we were like a gaggle of girls going to the movies. I mean, with all those bare abs and emotional drama, how could we remain mature? I love my friends for also being sucked into the Twilight series and then engaging in thoughtful discourse on Mormon authors and hidden agendas, racial and socio-economic metaphors, and unwavering irrational teenage love.

To admit appreciation for cheesy things and then to have an academic conversation to seem rational is totally my steez. I’m so happy to have built up a posse here that can do the same. It took time but it was totally worth the wait. Uh, dare I say, just like the wait for Eclipse. SO EMBARRASSING. But at least I’m not the only one now and for that I am very thankful.

Tomorrow we leave for Sonoma! My co-worker graciously lent us her house on acres in the woods. We are beyond excited. Yesterday I loaded up on groceries, tonight we packed up everything including enough food to last us for weeks, and tomorrow Mr H and LJ will pick up the turkey and salmon while I wrap up a couple things at work and then we are off to hopefully beat the traffic leaving the city. Holidays in the city are actually awesome because no one is here and there is tons of parking. Those who do stick around are so nice and I think everyone feels a comradery (I spelled that right the first time btw) for being in it together.

But not us this year. We are going to the land of vineyards and woods and sunshine and foosball (in their house, along with lots of legos and brio trains they have in the closets. Seriously this just gets better and better). I am so excited to let the boys run wild outside while I cook delicious holiday fare for hours and hours and listen to music. And then watch lots of movies and read books and magazines and maybe go to Jack London’s house.  Its going to be so great to get away and not have to pay a bazillion dollars or travel for ten thousand hours or deal with tons of family drama. Yay for being our own little family now, for having the courage to start our own traditions, and for sitting by the fire with hot cocoa and hot toddies.

Lets hope this year not involve burnt turkey or traffic or a stressfest sponsored by yours truly because the gravy isnt coming out right (because gravy is such a key factor in the meal btw). And even if it is not perfect, I have a feeling it will still be fantastic. Because when I was a kid, I dont think I realized how much work those weekends away at the family cabin were. But that was the whole point, for us not to notice, for us to remember sitting by the fire and playing games all day in the woods. I guess I can only hope my kids think its effortless too.

Well, its that time of year again. I guess I am a big fan of tradition, for always trying to stake my claim as a non-traditionalist. Cases in point:

Lost voice? Check.

German Elf preparations? Check.

Getting stoked for our delicious Thanksgiving in the woods of Sonoma? Double check.

At least some things never change…

{This painting is by my amazingly talented and dear friend Trish Grantham, she has even more cool paintings in her etsy shop!}

My birthday is in a couple days. Its so funny, I usually get so amped about it but this year I’m surprisingly mellow. There are zero plans for the actual day, and I LOVE to plan, especially when its all about me. House of Prime Rib for dinner the night before, but that is about it….

Everyone in our family keeps waking up with sore throats and the need to hibernate is starting to kick in. Its now getting crisp at night and in the morning, its definitely scarf weather. I will go ahead and say that I dont think its going to be an 80 degree birthday like last year. Howevs, I dont really care. I’m down for hot drinks, hot meat, and snuggles instead. I cant think of a better way to spend the day with all my boys.